so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
