my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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