And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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