another moral hangover. fuck.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
