apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
