lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
