Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
