so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
