i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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