my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
