Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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