that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
