so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
