i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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