I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm passing your future prison.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
