you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
