You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
