we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
