Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
