Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
