toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
