just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
