4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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