just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
