Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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