whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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