I look better un-naked...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
