I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
