He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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