What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
