i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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