I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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