I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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