ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
