You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
