You made me cry and you don't even care
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
My life is pants optional.
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