He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
As shirtless as possible
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
