All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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