I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
