weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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