the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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