what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You were trust falling into bushes
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
