brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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