Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
