Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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