Welp...herpes.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
