I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
