As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
