I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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