I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
