He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
